Today marks 65 days that I have been in Quarantine. My last day of work was on March 16, 2020, and I have only left the house to grocery shop, take my cat to the vet, and as of late, take walks in the open parks. Since my time in quarantine, life has forever been changed. We go to stores in face masks, and sanitize everything we touch. We consistently wash our hands for 30 seconds at a time, and when I do return to work next month, I’m sure I will be doing facial treatments in full PPE and taking extreme measures to sanitize and disinfect everything down in between patients more so than ever before (such as door handles, credit cards, etc.). Life for some people during this time consisted of being sick or watching others get sick, or worse, not being there for them when they passed. For others, it was a time of frustration and anger, whether it was trying to work from home while homeschooling their children or dealing with the unemployment offices that don’t answer phones or respond to any emails. This time has been scary, not having a job to go to every day, or seeing friendly faces, listening to the news every day of differing advice, not knowing what is real and what is fake, and if anyone really knows anything or have our best interest at heart. I’ve learned a lot about this time. I’ve learned that everyday things were being taken advantage of, that people I thought were important to me, are really not and loneliness has a major effect on my mental health. Early into my quarantine, I thought of my Grandpa. My grandfather is 95 years old today, and a few months ago my family was considering throwing him a big birthday bash. When the shutdown of the government turned into a 3-month quarantine, clearly our plans have been put on hold. But, I wanted to take this time now that I am home and able to communicate with my grandpa through the phone-he doesn’t do zoom or face-time- to learn about his life, and ask him all the secrets he has to be 95 years young.
On May 20, 1925, my grandfather, Anthony, was born in Brooklyn, New York. He grew up in what he described as a detached, wooden bungalow with a big driveway on Lake Street, which had about ten houses on the block. Growing up, Anthony’s nickname was “Jack Dempsey” after the great boxer, because although he was small in stature, he used to fight and beat up kids on the block. He was always very athletic and muscular. He was the fastest runner and a great ballplayer. He loved his neighborhood and the friends he made during his childhood, particularly his best friend Andrew who lived across the street. Anthony and Andrew used to enjoy playing kick the can, stick-ball, or Ringolevio, a game he described as a variation of tag, or what I believe is very similar to my generation’s “Manhunt.” In school his favorite subject was arithmetic, because to him it was easy and he was really good at it. When asked if Anthony ever got into trouble as a child, he stated that he was a pretty good kid but when he was in the 3rd grade he just decided that he didn’t want to attend school anymore. His father found out that he cut school, and that was the only time he recalled getting into trouble.
Anthony talked fondly of his childhood and teenage years. Reminiscing of his days when his grandfather would park the car on the Staten Island ferry and his family would spend an afternoon in the New York City borough enjoying a picnic with roasted peppers and eggplant, back when all Staten Island was, was farmlands. When he turned 17 he was so excited to obtain his driver’s license and as soon as he received it he jumped at the chance to drive his father’s Ford Nash to his grandmother’s house to pick her up for Sunday dinners. Of course, he laughed that the novelty of driving wore off rather quickly, and then his father would then go back to picking up his grandmother for Sunday dinners again. His maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather both passed either before he was born or when he was just a baby so he never got the chance to meet or get to know them. His maternal grandfather he admirably called a “Dapper Dan” and fondly spoke of how neat he dressed. He always donned a musical gold pocket watch which held a picture of his wife, that he attached to a chain in his vest.
Anthony didn’t have an allowance but he made extra pennies when he returned soda cans or milk cans. He remembered that 3 cents could get you an entire bag of candy and 1 penny could get you a piece of candy. His favorite is Mike and Ikes. When Anthony was about 16 years old he got his first job, he worked for Western Union as a postal telegraph riding his bicycle delivering telegrams for just 38 cents an hour plus tips. Two months after Anthony turned 18, he ironically received a telegram he’ll never forget. A postcard from President Franklin D. Roosevelt telling him that he was being drafted into World War II and he set sail in the Navy shortly after. While preparing to write this article, when discussing this piece and asking my grandfather questions, his demeanor, and his attitude regarding life prior to that date in 1943 was immersed with happy, fun memories. Life changed after that day, and when Anthony returned from War 4 years later he was a changed man.
**Side note: I called my grandfather on the first day of Spring this year and he told me that that date in 1946 was the day he was discharged from World War II. He told me he would never forget that day, and here it is 70-something years later and he remembers the day and how blue the sky was.
After Anthony returned home, his father was so happy that he threw him his very first birthday party where he turned 21. Shortly after, Anthony bought his first car with a friend, a 4 door 1931 Ford Nash, he recalled that he got the car used for just $200.
One day while hanging out with his friends at the local bus stop he spotted a beautiful woman, my grandmother. He never saw her before, yet they both attended the same high school and they lived only 3 blocks from each other in Brooklyn. Small World! He loved everything about her, she was sweet, pretty, thin, and funny. He asked her out at the bus station, and the rest was history. They got married on February 12, 1949, at St. Simon and Jude Church, his friend Freddie was his best man, and my grandmother’s sister was her maid of honor.
My grandparents had 5 children, 17 grandchildren, and 19 great-grandchildren and counting. I asked my grandfather if he remembers my mother being born and if there was anything silly my mother did when she was a child. He said he didn’t 100% know if it was when my grandmother was pregnant with my mom or one of her siblings but he was working as a bus mechanic at night and he got a phone call at 3 am that she was in labor, his one coworker almost didn’t let him take the call, but he pleaded with his foreman that his wife was pregnant, he was grateful the foreman let him leave and thanked him when he returned to work the next day. As for my mom doing silly things when she was young, he said when my mom learned to walk she used to walk over to the dog food bowl and eat its food. They clearly had to move the bowl and keep a very close watch on her whereabouts after that! When I asked him what he thought about my father, he said he always thought my father was a smart man and was happy that he always had goals set in life.
Anthony discussed how hard it was growing up during the depression, and how he decided he wanted to work for the city when he was old enough to take the civil service exams so he wouldn’t have to worry about losing his job or live paycheck to paycheck should another Depression-like era occur. Anthony was a New York City firefighter down in Coney Island, and when I asked him if he could go back to any moment of his life, he said the days of being a firefighter, because he loved helping people and doing good for people. If he didn’t become a firefighter he would’ve been a police officer, for that same reason. During the years of my grandfather working as a firefighter, he also dabbled in construction. He stated that if he didn’t become a firefighter and couldn’t be a police officer, he’d be a plumber or carpenter installing bathrooms or finishing basements. Even after he retired from the fire department, after 31 years working for the city (6 years as a bus mechanic and 25 for the FDNY) he was still working regularly installing storm doors and windows. My grandfather is an incredible carpenter, and with the help of his father and brother they built their home in Brooklyn, New York. They lived there for over 50 years before moving to New Jersey.
Anthony was constantly working, if it wasn’t for the city, or doing construction jobs, he was helping his parents at their amusement park “Kiddie Karnival” in Pine Brook, New Jersey. That amusement park opened in 1951 at the start of when the baby boomers began to arise. His parents started the park and kept it open until it was torn down to be a part of a major road construction job in 1988. New Jersey’s many famous jug handles now sits on top of the land where “Kiddie Karnival” or how most people today remember it as, “Kiddie Land” once was.
My grandfather loves to keep busy, he also loves to do everything himself. His father was his biggest influence, he was extremely handy and taught him everything he knows. When my grandparents moved to New Jersey he was 80 years old, and he would be on the roof installing solar panels or ripping up his old floors and putting down hardwood floors, and when all was done in the house, he developed hobbies of crafting model airplanes out of soda cans or building rocking horses for some of the great-grandchildren in the family. Up until the day of the government shutdown, he was at the gym every day for an hour plus, riding the bike and doing weight lifting machines, and yes he is still driving. Maybe those are some of the many secrets to being 95 years young?
*Below I have attached a set of questions that I asked my grandpa while working on this piece:
What has been your best or biggest accomplishment?- Having Children
If you can go back in time would you do anything differently?- No, I had a good life and live with no regrets.
Best advice you could offer someone? Go to school, get a high school diploma, and go to college and get a degree.
Have any rules or motto’s to live by? Treat others how you would want them to treat you.
Do you have any regrets in your life, do you wish you had the chance to change one thing? If so, what? I only wish to have been born later, so I can be younger now, as he chuckles into the phone.
Favorite meal of all time? My mother’s eggplant parmesan, I laughed because this too is my answer as well, but of my own mother’s eggplant parmesan.
If you could have lunch with anyone dead or alive who would it be and why? My parents, because I love and miss them dearly.
What is the most amazing thing you have seen in your lifetime? And why? The day World War II ended, for obvious reasons.
What was your favorite age and why? Teen age years, everything was happy and fun before the war.
What’s the best thing about being a grandparent? Seeing my grandchildren, and seeing them all happy.
Do you have a favorite family vacation memory? My uncle was very wealthy, even during the depression and we used to spend time in upper Greenwood Lake, New Jersey in 2 bungalows in the lake every day with my cousins playing cowboys and Indians.
What is your favorite city to visit? Branson, Missouri, for a very long time they were considered the capital of the world for Veterans and we were able to see two shows a day. There are more shows there than on Broadway.
What is your favorite memory with your children? The day they all graduated from college. Very proud to say they are all college graduates.
What could you tell me that I would be surprised to learn about you? No surprises, but I did attend a parade during the war on Main Street in Richmond, VA where a girl said, “Hello Blue eyes” and all my friends laughed.
What makes you happy? Knowing that all my children are okay.
What is different about growing up today than when you were a child? We never had anyone doing drugs or had drug dealers on the streets.
What is your favorite thing about being a grandpa? Watching all of my grandchildren grow up and be good.
What is something that you would like to learn still? I know it all, but I could be better at spelling.
What is your favorite thing to do? Have dinner with my family. Even when I was young I enjoyed having my mother’s dinner and all my family was in walking distance so we could eat together.
What was your favorite toy or activity as a child? Playing outside and riding my brother’s bicycle that he got for Christmas.
What do you like to watch? When I was a kid we didn’t have a TV but when we got a TV before I got married, wrestling was a huge program to watch. Now I like to watch old movies.
What’s your favorite memory? I bet my friend $20 that the war wouldn’t be over after we dropped the 1st atom bomb, I told my friends, “it’ll never happen.” I won the bet. Then we made another bet and I bet that it wouldn’t be over 2 weeks after that. I lost, and the war was finally over, and I could come home.
If you could have lived in a different place, where would it be? Growing up, I wouldn’t have wanted to live on another block.
If you could have lived in a different era, what would it be? This era so I could be young again.
Is there anything left on your bucket list? I had a good life, I live with no regrets. I only wish Grandma was still alive so we could’ve spent our last few years together. (My grandmother, Helen, sadly passed away in 2015).
Are there any secrets to living a long, fulfilling life? Stay fit, always move, and workout.
What do you miss about the good old days? Being young.
What is your philosophy on life? Always take one day at a time.
How do you want to be remembered? As a “Great” Grandpa.
What have you not done that you still hope to achieve? I’d love to go to Hawaii, I only was there during the War and was never able to make it back and enjoy it.
In conclusion, I truly enjoyed writing this article, and it definitely helped me grow closer to my grandfather during a very uncertain, scary time. I hope this project will encourage you to speak with your elders or your relatives and truly get to know them and what their life was like before you were ever in the picture, some of their stories or answers may surprise you. I realized that with almost every answer or every story my grandfather spoke about, regarded family. His happiest memories consisted of being with his family. Growing up myself in an Italian American household, I was taught at a very young age that family is and always will be, number one. Now, as I get older I am beginning to truly understand that statement.
